7 am. another alarm ringing. I change my alarms almost every month because I hate alarms. I hate the way they sound. I hate everything about them. I hate the way it forces you to start the day. Sex and the City theme song buzzes in my head. I swear at the alarm though I like the melody. I've put it not to swear at it. I can not control myself it's early in the morning. I kinda like alarms because they have intentions. almost good intentions. Like I wanna have. Intentions are good, any spur is good. They make you live. For example if alarms wouldn't ring early in the morning why would they exist? They have meaning in their life. They have entities. I even wish I was an alarm. Alarms make you start the day without them I couldn't and most probably wouldn't start any day.
I head for the bathroom. Bathrooms always take my time and my mind away. Mirrors. that's their problem. If they weren't mirrors many people would be happier. Toilet, face washing, teeth brushing, face creams, some heedless looking, hating the spots and blackheads, basically selfhating and thus hating life.
Dressing, choosing. Getting really ready. Feeling better. make-up. feeling even better.
7.30 am breakfast.
Tea is first as always. Tea makes you start the day. Tea solves problems. Herbal teas pacify. Camomile is my favorite. I'm one of the nervous pals. But I try not to use them, I'm trying to overcome my problems by myself. kind of silly though. Tea could be a way of overcoming. I like tea. I wish I was an earl gray.
Then there goes the red peppers. not chilly. delicious ones. I love them. I eat them every morning. They are never chilly though there is the risk. You never know until you taste them. I never doubt them because somebodyelse serves them .I'm inclined to feel in peace almost secure. But today there is something different about them. Do they look crimson? no. Are they different? Not really. But I feel. They are chilly. I hate chilly things. I deteste them. and today they are chilly. but how can they be chilly when you have eaten them for whole life and they have tasted good, how can they be chilly. Fear. I'm fearless. I always take risks. I'm proud to be that way. Intrepid. I like calling myself intrepid. I taste the peppers. they are chilly. Water. emergency. hands away from eyes. too late. eyes are gone too. no eyes are not that important make-up is gone too. I'm late I should have listened to the whispers of red peppers.
Later on that day, I thought why why why the peppers were chilly??
and I came up with the answers that shaped the philosophy of my life.
1. listen to your insticts. be brave but not silly.
2. always be positive. you shape your own life.
3. maybe but maybe there are reasons of why event happen to us. I wanna believe in reasons but in the same time because I don't want any unfortunate events in my life ı don't wanna believe in reasons. but maybee.. in upcoming blogs :p
that's what red peppers thought me and now I believe that from everyone, every incident and from almost every being living or not I can learn something and thus can have a meaning in my life... I don't have to be an alarm, or tea to feel that I'm living. It's enough to ''live''
thanks for oytun yücel and pınar yola for urging me to go get a blog. =)
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