As a Spurious Nun

Why do I even try?
If I lie here,
everything would sleep away.
sweeping down from my blanket
the guilt and the sin.
the irredeemable aspects being of human.

That's not the way it goes said my cat
however, sleeping on my chest.
You have to face it she said.
a little wise creature it was.
probably wiser than I was.

I said I faced it. by sleeping.
Such a wiseass I was.
it was not a lie though.
I faced it in my dreams.
It was not my inition for sure.
it hunted me furtively.
it was not ephemeral
it was just the opposite
trasncending deep
immobilising.

Denial I was in.
I had been resisting the virulent induction of reality.
but deliberately it was insinuating in me deep
and so I was sleeping
and my cat was trying to cure me.

and there I was sleeping
as a spurious nun
I was lying in my tomb
with white sheets all over
waiting to be criminated
to cease the pain of living
and to taste the joy of
absolute cleansing.